Archive for November, 2010

a little ranting

Posted: November 25, 2010 in writing

I just feel like ranting little bit here. Most people don’t read this so I feel safe saying  just about anything on here. I am always worried about saying the wrong thing but at the same time if I don’t say how and what I feel then I’m not being true to myself. So the question then comes up which am I afraid of more being me or keeping things to myself and not upsetting others.

I think that if those who love me or at least like me can’t take what I have to say to or about them then that is their problem not mine. I should never be sorry for sharing my heart with others but alas sometimes I’m scared I have gone to far.

You make me feel things and I want to tell you but then I stress and worry about it until you talk to me like every thing is fine. I never quite know where I stand with you but I love you beyond that. I love you unconditionally and that will never change. I have tried to stop but it doesn’t work so I have given up. I love you plain and simple.


When White Mirrors Black

Posted: November 25, 2010 in writing

When I was born my whiteness wasn’t born with me only my blackness. My soul was unsure how to move forward at a constant pace. It would stop for every whiteness it would see hoping it was what was missing. Years went by and my soul started to doubt that it would ever find what it needed. Finally my soul gave up the search and chose to go on as it was and make the most of it. It simply said “Soul, you are what you are so embrace it”. So that’s just what my soul did. Life got easier and my soul was living the best it could. But once in a while late at night when all was quiet my soul still missed its whiteness.

One very normal day my soul was out and about living life not realizing what the day would bring. That was the day the most brightest whiteness my soul had ever seen appeared. It was soft and bright and wonderful. My soul opened and expanded to feel all that the whiteness was.

The whiteness would come and go for a while and my soul would miss it when it was gone. Then the whiteness started coming around more and more which made my soul happy. The soul that the whiteness belongs to is amazing and wonderful. My soul has finally found the whiteness it hadn’t been born with. The whiteness that mirrors my blackness.


Death for Love

Posted: November 10, 2010 in writing

She had given me all the love she had in her heart. I wept tears of sorrow for I could not return her gift. As much as I wanted to love her back with all of my heart I could not. When I told her she could never be the one, she took me in her arms and held me close.

“Love who you will my precious man and I hope with all of my heart he will love you in return.” she quietly said.

I told her that I knew he loved me but I didn’t know if it was enough.

“I will give him the love I have for you to ensure his love for you will last an eternity.” she whispered.

She breathed one last deep breath and collapsed in my arms. She gave up her heart so he would love me. It was at that moment I knew I loved her. I realized then that she was not ‘the one’ but ‘one of the ones’. And I know I love her still.

Opening the Box on Love

Posted: November 10, 2010 in writing

I have a very deep opinion when it comes to love. I believe that love comes in many different ways from many different people. You should never try to put love into a neat little box because it is much too vast for that. I also believe that there is “that person” for each and every one of us. There is someone who WILL at some time come into our life that will make it complete. That one person in your life will be just what you need to keep your world from spinning out of control. That person will be the missing puzzle piece.

You have to be open to who it is and what part they play. Everyone assumes that your missing piece is “the love” (as in sexual) of your life but have you ever stopped to truly think about that? What if that person is “the love” (as in love) of your life? I am sure at this point you’re saying ‘aren’t they the same thing’? Not to me! I don’t believe sex has to play a part in ‘being in love’. I believe you can be deeply and passionately ‘in love’ with someone without ever having sex. Just like you can have sex without ever being ‘in love’. The two feelings are not linked exclusively together.

You have to open up your mind, heart, soul, and box in order to truly find ‘that’ person. If you are closed off in any way you are going to miss the best thing that can come into your life. One day you will wake to realize that no matter what you do that one missing piece will never be put where it needs to be. If you don’t allow love to find you, you will never know what it means to truly love someone else. To look at that person and know with all your heart that you would give and do anything for them as long as they are happy. You will get the deepest pleasure knowing that their desires are coming true. You will have this bottomless pit of love for them that no one can fill because…well it’s bottomless.

Don’t get me wrong you will, at some point if not many points, have sad moments even with them in your life but you can and will get through those times because of the love you have for that one person. If you take a moment and think about how you feel about ‘that person’ that love starts to make the sad moments go away.

You also need to realize that ‘that person’ might not love you back the same way you love them, that’s okay. You should never love someone for what you can get from them, you should love them for what you can give. By allowing yourself to truly love someone you have opened up the box and let love flow out to everyone and everything you come in contact with.

If you are lucky enough to be loved back by that person in any way you are blessed beyond all reasoning. Your life suddenly becomes this amazing place that is magical and beautiful. Keep in mind thou that their love for you may come in the form of emotional not sexual love. I personally prefer the emotional love because I feel it is more real. When someone loves you for who YOU are there is nothing quite like it.

Step out of your comfort zone and let love in, you will be surprised with what could happen. It’s an amazing feeling, try it some time.


Here’s a couple of songs you might want to listen to after reading this.

“Not Like the Movies” by Katy Perry

“Never Let You Down” by The Verve Pipe


Her Soul Mate

Posted: November 10, 2010 in writing

She stood in front of him with her chin raised in self-assurance. She knew her heart and mind and now it was time to open up to him. “Him” he is the one who finally won her heart. “He” is the true love of her life. The day she met him she knew that there was something about him that was more. “He” was more than she had ever known. “He” felt more, showed more, loved more and gave more. She opened her mouth and as “He” gazed down at her these are the words he heard.

“You are the first man I have ever truly fallen in love with. I never knew what true love was until I met you. I thought I did several times I’m afraid. But it wasn’t until I met and got to know you that I realized how much I didn’t know about love.”

Pausing for a moment she took a deep breath. Looking back up into his eyes she continued.

“Love is unconditional, it only gives, it should never take. When I think of you all I want to do is give. I want to give all I have to make your life all it can be. I want to give you the strength to live for your dreams even if those dreams don’t include me. I want to show you how to love even if that helps you love someone else.”

“He” opened his mouth to say something and she gently placed her hand over it to stop him.

“No, don’t say anything until I am done.”

Removing her hand she went on.

“I have realized that when you truly love some one else everything  in your life falls into place. All of a sudden everything is clear and right. I don’t need your love in return in order to love you. Don’t get me wrong, to have your love in return would be amazing but it is not required. I will never let you down. I love the moments I have with you and the only thing I hope when you aren’t around is that you are happy. Choose who you will, love who you can, be with the one who makes you happy.

Looking down at her hands she continues once more.

“I never want you to feel as if you have to force yourself to love me in return. If you love me then love me but if not be happy. Your happiness fuels my love for you. As each dream you have is fulfilled my heart swells with more and more love for you. I’m trying to keep my feet on the ground and I love the feelings I have because of you. I hope some day you will find the same kind of love.”

Reaching up she takes his face in her hands.

“I Love You, with all that I have.”

She let go of his face, wraps her arms around him and hugs him for a few moments. Taking a deep breath she steps back, turns and walks away, leaving him with his own thoughts.

“He” reaches out but she is already gone. Her feet just couldn’t keep her on the ground.


The Dissolving Heart

Posted: November 10, 2010 in writing

There he sat across the room from her. He was so beautiful that to look at him took her breath away. She sat with her chin in her hand and concentrated on him. The words in her mind went something like this.

“If you love me stand up, turn around, and walk over here to me.” With all the emotion in her heart she waited. Nothing happened.

“If you care for me stand up, turn around and wave at me.” With a doubtful heart she waited. Nothing happened.

“If you like me turn around and smile at me.” With a sinking heart she waited. Nothing happened.

“If I mean anything to you nod your head.” With a heavy heart she waited. Nothing happened.

Then while she waited something did happen.

He got up and without turning or looking or waving or smiling, he walked to the door opened it and walked out.

There she sat across the room and as the door closed her heart dissolved into nothing. His name was the last thing from her lips as he took her breath away.

Edward Burns

Posted: November 10, 2010 in writing

So I was able to go down to San Francisco last Thursday for a Hollywood 2.0 Master class and screening with Edward Burns. It was wonderful to say the least. I learned a lot and really enjoyed the movie we were treated to.You can see a clip of it if you go here Scripped@facebook and scroll down till you find it or go to this video. This is just part of the class we had and the person in the audience who asks what program he uses is me. The movie was wonderful and he was able to do it with less than $25,000.  Talk about an inspiration for me.